Beware! Indian ants love pussy juice.

Traveling all around the world you see many unusual things, however I’ve never seen anything like this, but it just might be me. 

It all started in Rishikesh, when David and I rented a sunny big room in High Bank. Surprised that it was available, we were very happy to find this catch. It needed some cleaning, random ants were walking around, but no biggie. The owner assured us that they will clean it before we will move in.

Surely, they swept and mopped the floor, maybe even dusted the shelves and there is a small chance  they changed the bed sheets. At first sight we were happy and unloaded our things. Upon doing random things I spotted a serious highway of ants crawling up the bed frame and disappearing into the darkness. As we investigated the situation more, David forcefully opened a compartment above the bed frame. When he opened it, I was horrified. I have never seen trillions of ants moving at the speed of light, creating their food storage for years to come. It was a serious colony and we were not about to put our heads to sleep right next to it. 

Surely the owner came, with disinfectant and eliminated the entire colony. I felt guilty for killing so many innocent creatures, but thankfully it was not me. Of course the tracks created by the ants were probably embedded in the unborn ants. Within hours the highway was back on track with a slight detour. Within few days we quickly packed out things and left running, as ants were crawling on me all the time. I felt a victim of their exploration. 

We didn’t technically kill the ants, but it was in our presence and awareness that we allowed for such a massacre. This is where it all began, since that moment, ants tried to destroy and steal all sorts of things. Wherever we went, they somehow followed. Small, medium and big, we were chased.

It took five months for the real revenge to happen in Goa, when I was left alone, as David went to serve a Vipassana retreat. They received the signals and collectively came up with the brightest idea of revenge. First they tested the waters, by randomly appearing on the bed and crawling over my sleeping body. I had bite marks all over me the size of a monster spider.  Secondly, they tried to cut off or confuse my electronic communication, by quickly running in and out from the laptop’s keyboard. 

– Oh, how funny! – I thought. – Ants are going digital. – Little did I know that it was part of the revenge. 

Then the attack happened. It only took few minutes when they struck for the juicy juice. I was in the mids of cleaning up, separating laundry on the floor, washing up and at the same time, putting things away. Lastly, I soaked the laundry and since it was evening time, I thought to let it sit in the soapy water overnight. 

Tired, I went to bed.

In the morning, dressing up I realised, that I have no clean panties as they were all in the bucket of soapy water. With out procrastination I was forced to do the laundry. Hanging things to dry, I came across dying ants on my hands. – Oh, no! – I thought.  – Poor ants they must have drowned in the bucket. Silly ants. – Since the sun was shinning and the light was bright I continued to hang the laundry on the line. Folding out my purple panties I noticed a hole right in the crack where my ‘nana’ sits. 

Holy, Shi… What is this? Why is there a giant hole in my panties? – I screamed. Then I saw a drunken ant crawling on the side of it. OMG, they have chewed up my panties exactly where my pussy juice was. I quickly went through the remaining panties and inspected them for further damage. I was in disbelief. In a matter of 30 minutes, while the dirty laundry was laying on the floor, they have actively taken the revenge and destroyed my precious panties. Only a few have remained untouched.

Such horror! I had to sit down.

NOW, if you have ever done any traveling, you know how important you undergarments are. Quick-dry and durable, you know, the expansive ones. Not to mention, I do not see myself buying sexy panties in India. I mean, do the women even wear g-strings under the saris?

The war is on! I thought. But I am one. A big one, but one. And it’s millions of them agains me. I am not on my territory and I am not in the climate. 

I will surrender.

I have decided to rebuild our friendship, or make truce, as we were never really friends. I decided to help to rebuild their colony. Maybe not the one in Rishikesh, but in their next life, which might be here in Goa. Each evening, I place few cashew nuts right next to their dungeon. By morning, only small skeletons remain. While they are busy stocking cashew nuts on top of pieces of panties with pussy juice, I can relax and occasionally leave dirty dishes in the sink.

But it does make me wonder, what exactly is in my juice? Are they worshiping it now?