Randomness in South Island, NZ

Bzzzzt, Bzzzzzzzzzt, Bzzzzzz.”  Iza where is the freaking flashlight. I am going to kill this Mother F…” I woke Iza up, turned on the flashlight and the killings began. It wasn’t one it was millions of mosquitos trapped in our Flyniqua. Us VS them. How in the world did they got in here, I thought we checked the car before we went to bed? So we got busy and killed them all.

Bzzzzzzzt, Bzzzzzz I hear the buzzing over my ear again, this time the morning light was becoming brighter, I opened my eyes and once again they were everywhere. Oh my god! I have never seen so many mosquitos in my life. I made a fuzz, woke everybody up and the killings continued.

“We are getting the fuck out of here! Now!” my brother was pissed. Bags under eyes, itchy feet from bites and we couldn’t leave the van it was pouring rain.
Rain day equals library day and shopping!!!! Christmas was right around the corner and it’s time for some goodies.” How convenient, few days prior, our fantastic $8 speakers from Bolivia broke, hmmmm.”

Since, no family and friends around we have escaped the craze of gift shopping, no gifts, just an expansive dinner. But, since the speakers broke and we end up going to some WearHouse, where everybody gets a bargain, we couldn’t resist purchasing a new set of BussBurger compatibles. Plus a load of mosquitos repellent and other things we probably don’t need, like a set of Christmas lights.
I have to agree, it’s quite tuff to fall into the holiday spirit if you are in a summer country where the sun is shining and you are used to the fluffy snow. It’s strange to walk into a supermarket and hear the Jingle Bells song. The Christmas lights we bought gave us a bit of the Holiday spirit.

When the rain eased, the happy shoppers end up back in the same camp site ready to kill the fuckers, when a lady ranger forced us to turn the citronella lanterns off “Sorry it’s a fire hazard” she said. We found the source where the mosquitos entered our sleeping quarters, it was through the door insulation that was not quite insulated. Since mosquitos attract to heat, the fight was on! About 9999 mosquitos were massacred. Bang. Bang. Die you mother fucker. Bang, Smash. Blast, Kaboooom.

Today the humans are strong, and flowers appeared on ground zero, as Iza found colorful flower sticker to decorate the scene.
The sun is out and we are off to celebrate! Celebration of the sun and victory! We are hitting up all the famous wineries in New Zealand.

Did you know that New Zealand is famous for Sauvignon Blanc! No? Me neither, until we got trashed on it while wine tasting in New Zealand’s vineyards district, the Marlborough. It is one of NZ’s premier wine making regions, with over 65 vineyards. We made sure to sample them all. Slightly intoxicated, we made a purchase of few wines. Let me recommend a really good one for ya, sorry it’s not the Sauvignon Blanc but an Italian style red wine, Montepulciano a Marlborough Vintage from NZ. Also if you are into Riesling get your hands on Saint Claire Riesling from NZ. Can’t wait to sip it.

It’s that time of the year, where families get together, stuff their faces and gossip, in another words the Holiday time. Depending where you are you probably celebrate it differently or don’t at all. For us this year was quite different from the usual, 12 dish meatless Christmas Eve, where we eat fish, pierogies, borsch, salad and other goodies. When I say 12 dish, it’s in the Polish tradition to taste 12 dishes on Christmas Eve, and that can only happen after the first star starts shinning. Prior to eating we share “Oplatek” Christ’s body and wish each other good vibes. “I wish you a good husband and lots of money, ohh yeah and happiness.”

This year, well aside from not snowing but being warm with green grass, we were away from the family, no pierogies, no Santa and no gossiping.
We spent our first Christmas Eve, in a restaurant where I had fancy salmon, Iza had the fish of the day, and Arecki decided to eat meat. Christmas day, was super laid back, as the entire town of Nelson was dead, not a sole around only some foreigners with campervans. We sat in the park all day, made the Polish “salatka” salad and borsch with mushroom and cheese tortellini. Not once did I feel the spirit of Christmas, not once did I opened a present. It was just another chilled day in the park, it felt more like a Sunday then Christmas.

It was quite nice to skype the family, as the time difference is 18 hours. “YEP, we are living in the future people!! I can be your psychic” Christmas day for us, and Christmas Eve for them. We called them at the perfect time they were just sitting down to eat, eat and eat. I wished I was there and had at least one pierogie. My mom makes the best perogies in town! Really!! And this year she made 120 of them and not even one for me.

Christmas appeared out of nowhere and disappeared without a trace.
My hair is flowing, the wind is strong, and the vibration is giving me multiple orgasms. I am on a black, fast, buzzing Harley Davidson, wearing tight black leather pants and bright red polka dots helmet. I am flying through green valleys, windy roads, farmland, lakes and mountains. I am in another world, the adrenaline world. “I want something sweet like chocolate” Iza broke the silence, I only heard chocolate and my daydream was over.

I love daydreaming and cruising through the valleys, up a hill, down a hill, through windy roads with lovely views in our Flyniqua, it’s a perfect time to daydream. I daydream about everything, wondering what are my friends up to, what am I going to do in the near future and what possible other crazy situations we are going to get ourselves into. Daydreaming takes me to the imaginary world that exists in the perfect world. I turn the right into wrong and the impossible to possible, no forks in the road just one smooth though leading into another. Bus and car rides totally intensify daydreaming. So I will continue to ride my Harley and enjoy.

It’s been over 3 weeks now, as we live in our Flyniqua, things have fallen into place, and everybody seems to have a role. I unfortunately got stuck being the monkey in the middle and my role is to sleep in the middle every night. I guess I don’t really mind, as the south island is much cooler, so I stay nice and warm. My only problem is that I am the person that gets up in the night to use the bathroom, this sucks as I have to climb over Iza or Arecki and drop myself out of the van. There is no space in our Flyniqua, we don’t have a fancy rented minivan where we can walk, and we have a tiny minivan that the entire back is converted to an elevated bed. Underneath is where we keep all of our shit. Kitchen, living room and bedroom are all in the same room.

The other day we got woken up by a guy who was banging on our car and was screaming “It’s a flood; wake up move your vehicle.” We looked outside and our Flyniqua was in foot deep water. We free-ranged right near a river, the rain was coming down all night and the river picked up and expanded. A bit more time and we would have been floating on the river. Rafting in style! Later on we found out that the entire NZ is one big flood, it’s a crisis. WHAT NZ and crisis??? Hard to believe, but I am sure you didn’t even hear about it, because you never hear anything bad about NZ.

The weather in NZ, can be a bit tricky, one minute is nice and sunny the next is cold and rainy, it’s known to have four seasons in 15 minutes. We have not yet experience that kind of extremeness but I am sure it happens. It has been raining quite a lot in the south island where it totally shits on our plans. But we improvise and do other things, watch a movie, shop around or just lay down and try to die.

But even in the rain NZ is very beautiful, full of green energy, smiling happy people and awesome clouds! Only the mosquitos and the sand flies is what make us insane…

2 thoughts on “Randomness in South Island, NZ

  1. Thanks MR. J.J Gittes,

    Yesterday, we have experience the 4 seasons on one day, it was raining, snowing, windy and then sunny. This place is crazy. I will listen to the song the minute I will have better WiFi connection. Happy Happy and be happy, say hello to all the cool people from me!!


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